My introduction to loss started early in my life as the daughter of a marine. Being associated with the military automatically meant becoming accustomed to a transient life. The friends I carpooled to school with, attended class, and played outside with all day during summer break, were the same friends that could be gone the next day, because their parent(s) got orders, which meant I probably would never see them again. It was just the nature of military life, but it taught me that nothing lasts forever, even people.

In my teenage years, my experience of love within my childhood home shaped my perception of people, loyalty, and loss. I loved the idea of family! My parents did a great job at creating structure, but didn’t do so well when it came to nurturing the foundation. I wasn’t taught how to nurture it either; instead, because of my experiences with them, I fed into the fear of rejection and abandonment, as I held a deep inner longing for love in its purest form. I know that’s why I loved going to my grandparent’s house, especially for the holidays. I loved my grandma so much! She was my favorite. She always greeted us with open arms, so much love, we ate good, and always had a great time while visiting. Everyone, from my favorite aunt, to my cousins, and uncles would be there. That’s also the time I was able to put a face to my older cousin’s boyfriends and girlfriends that were the topic of many discussions.

Leaving to go home was always the hard part. I never wanted to leave the love, joy, and just the feeling of being accepted, because it brought fulfillment to my life in a way that I didn’t have consistently at home.

In church I learned that God did not create man to be alone and the family unit is close to the heart of God, so I couldn’t understand why my family was so broken. My parent’s daily example in the household helped me become clear on what I wanted from love, and I knew I didn’t want to be married to a man like my father. As I got older, I noticed that I would hold on to the people I considered my friends, even if I was always the one reaching out, and rarely heard from them, or their character didn’t embody integrity, and I knew they didn’t genuinely like me; only what I had that was of benefit to them, because that meant I had some form of acceptance, and I also didn’t want to lose anyone else.

Into early adulthood, I noticed my “holding on” developed into staying in toxic relationships, whether it be a hairstylist, a job, or a romantic relationship, because I didn’t want to experience yet another loss, or worse be alone or without…

I had to accept everyone is not my friend, the fewer friends the better, and real friends are just like family. I began to value loyalty in relationship, because I yearned for the closeness of family, which meant I must be willing to accept people as they are without compromising my self-worth; love them unconditionally, communicate effectively, and respectfully resolve any conflicts that arise. After living thru some of the most traumatic experiences of my life, all of which involved my relationships- including the marriage I vowed to never have as a teen, I knew I needed to heal, so I made the courageous decision to begin my healing journey.

Healing is not for the weak!

As I started doing the work to heal, I understood in real time why it’s called a journey. Healing takes you back thru your childhood to understand how your perception of love was formed as a result of the example your biological parent’s set in your childhood home, the traumatic experiences you lived thru that caused you to create responses to protect yourself from ever being hurt again, that in most cases caused you to separate from your true self, to form the created self. The work you do within your healing journey is innate, as it benefits your spirit, mind, heart, soul, and body. It serves to uproot what has been suppressed, feared, judged, shamed, doubted, and created within illusions that support the replication of nonproductive cycles and unhealthy patterns within your relationships- including the one you have with yourself. Once uprooted, unconditional love, true forgiveness, the fruit of the spirit, and freedom authentically abide within you, causing you to thrive in every aspect of your life as you receive your true heart’s desires!

In making the decision to heal, I began to remember my divine purpose for existence, and I accepted it whole-heartedly. The alignment with my true self meant I must go thru a separation from the things, places, situations, and people I’d developed a connection with and grown to know as my life, because they no longer served my highest good. Some things, people, and relationships I made a conscious decision to release, with the understanding I was making room for what does serve me, and others I simply didn’t have the courage to let go of on my own, so God himself allowed them to naturally fall from my life.

What is it about letting go that makes it so hard to do?

During this phase of my healing journey and 2025 as a whole, I made the conscious decision to surrender my life to God, as I trusted Him to guide me in fulfilling my purpose. My decision meant doing what God asked me to do, even when I didn’t understand, when I couldn’t see the full plan and how it would work out; when it wasn’t comfortable, when I was embarrassed, when I felt ill-prepared, because I didn’t have what I thought I should; when people talked about me, because they didn’t understand my journey; when people ignored me, when I felt all alone, and within my surrender, I literally lost EVERYTHING that defined me, including my personal belongings. I cried tears I didn’t know I had to cry.

2025 literally broke me!

In my breaking, I understood God was not punishing me, but preparing me to be totally dependent on Him for everything! I took Proverbs 3:5-6 to heart and, “… I trusted God with all my heart, without leaning on my own understanding, in all my ways I acknowledged God to be exactly who He is consistently, to make my path straight.” I captured the deeper more profound lessons this phase of my healing journey held, as I understood everything happening to me, no matter how painful and traumatic it seemed in the moment, was by divine appointment, and was strategically happening for me. I understood I was experiencing a divine detachment from the life I had created, to fully align with the life I was created to thrive in by way of my divine purpose. I also understood what I loss was a necessary part of be-com-ing me-Danielle, one of God’s chosen.

My increased awareness helped me see how my perception of loss was tied to my perception of love, and because it was flawed, I viewed every loss as a heartbreaking ending, instead of a beautiful beginning.

My healing has helped me to understand loss is a natural part of the life cycle and its ok to feel the emotion(s) that come as a result… just don’t live there. It’s vital to your mental health that you take the time to grieve, so that you can heal, recover the pieces of you that left when you experienced your loss, and be well.   As we welcome 2026 in a few days, I’m reminded daily just how much God absolutely loves us all, as I intentionally affirm Luke 1:45… “Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her!” I will continue to heal, evolve, and thrive in the fullness of my purpose and the life God has graced me to live unapologetically.

What lessons have you captured from 2025 that will sustain you in the new year?

Wait… before you go! Have you submitted your entry into my End of year Give a Way? If not, you still have a few days to enter! I am gifting the session set, “The Book of Self Love” to 1 follower. For more information, see post on Facebook & Instagram (@mysolaceplace). The winner will be chosen on December 23, 2025!

In service by God’s grace with purposeful love,  

Simply Danielle

Healer. Life Coach. Mentor💜