I hear you, but…

I remember the day God told me to build My Solace Place. I sat in a silence that was filled with disappointment, because it wasn’t what I wanted to hear. I was on a strict comeback plan to rebuild my life and recover all that I had lost in my transition from rock bottom. I wanted to attain a few things so I could have something tangible to substantiate my reasons for leaving everything and everyone I had grown to know and accept as “my life,” so I wouldn’t be seen as the psychotic episode some where trying their hardest to make me out to be. Instead, I would truly be validated in my reasoning for making the decisions I had made, and also be able to let my success speak for me.

I had heard so much about the ability to manifest the life of your dreams, and that’s exactly what I wanted for my life. The only way I knew how to manifest anything was to set goals, work hard and never give up! I did all 3 and instead of manifesting the life of my dreams, it seemed as though I was receiving a punishment for something I had no idea I did wrong, because I received the total opposite of what I desired and was working so hard to attain. I wanted to live a happy fulfilling life with the love of my life, so we could build our life together, and when that did not happen I laid my life down at rock bottom. I was able to make an intentional decision to fight for me. In fighting for me, that meant I had to leave my life as I had grown to accept it…so I did! Now that I was in this new place of starting over I thought I’d give manifesting one more try.

I completed the course work to attain my degree and I wanted a Federal job, and God said, “I want you to build My Solace Place,” and I said, “I hear you, but I don’t want to do that right now.” In my mind doing that would look crazy to all the people who knew I left my marriage, my career and my independent life. I wanted my new start to look flawless and to make me look like I was winning! Building My Solace Place would take time and patience, and I didn’t want to make time to do that. I had heard enough of what “they” had to say about me starting over “at my age.” I would build My Solace Place, but it would happen when I was ready, and I would do it on my terms. Ready to me was after I had successfully fulfilled my life’s plan of thriving in my new career; I was settled in my new house, I had money stacked in the bank, my children were prospering & well AND THEN I would be ready to move on to the next best thing for my life.

I had enough of being made to feel like my life was insignificant because it didn’t look like the life of others who had been in similar situations, and after 2 years of consistent closed doors to the plans I wrote for my new life, I decided to check in with God one more time. What was it about my life that was so different that I couldn’t manifest the life of my dreams?

Nothing.

Your faith (trust and confidence that spring from your belief in God) has made you whole. Luke 17:19

I had to understand God was not punishing me for anything I did wrong. Instead, He was preparing me for living my purpose thru my rock bottom experiences. So in the midst of feeling like my life was falling apart, even after taking intentional steps to put it back together, I began to do some intense healing work. I started digging deep within to understand what it was that allowed me to succumb to the opinions of others, and furthermore run from my life’s purpose. Every thought I dug up was planted in fear and a strong un-belief in myself. I was so fearful I didn’t have what it takes to live my purpose well enough to survive AND have the life I desired. I also didn’t want my life to be an open book for others to know all my business.

Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you… Jeremiah 1:5

What my healing and wholeness allowed me to accept is I am ENOUGH. God made sure to fill me with everything I needed to successfully fulfill my purpose and destiny in the earth before my conception. With that knowledge, I asked God to help me dissolve every fear and replace it with an unwavering faith in Him, the process and myself.

God is very clear in His word when He says, “I will give you the desires of your heart.” I desired to bounce-back from everything I had lost during the most intense transitions of my life. The hardest part in my whole process was accepting I am right where I’m supposed to be and trusting God with all of me for everything!

I had to accept that God has a great plan for my life even though His plan looked nothing like the plan I drafted and was trying to put into action for my come up. I began to understand the fruit of faith and its importance in manifesting my heart’s desires. I used my faith in literal baby steps, because when it was all I had, I put 100% of my intention behind it, and it felt like I took a beating every time. There was so much I was believing God to do during my rock bottom and nothing was manifesting. I was heart-broken. It felt like God didn’t love me, and I felt all alone. I wasn’t even sure if God heard my prayers, but I was willing to try my faith again, because it was literally all I had.

I learned that God takes us thru various experiences to teach us things about ourselves. I also learned God doesn’t ask us to do anything, without first doing something for us…all we have to do is show up. I told God I was ready and this time I put an unwavering faith on my intention to thrive! I literally started my ministry from nothing, with a mustard seed of faith and I made an intentional decision to trust God every step of the way. Whatever God told me to do, I did and it didn’t matter if I could see the end result. Every step I took in faith, God matched it with supernatural provision. I understood it wasn’t a matter of IF God could or would do it, because God can do anything but fail. It was simply a matter of when, because all things God does happen in divine right timing.

I stopped giving attention to others, and focused on building me from within by affirming who God created me to be. I built a faith within myself to be, do and create all that my purpose needed me to in order for it to be fulfilled. I also let go of the victim mentality and started accepting who I am…the God-created! There is no one else on earth like me, who can do what God have gifted me to do the way I can do it. God gave us all our own lane, and He also put a unique essence within each of us that no one else can own.

I became comfortable in owning my lane within my life’s journey, and turning a deaf ear to the critics. I held on to the promises of God for my life and my ministry, and I stopped focusing on the time so that patience could have her perfect work in my life. I reminded myself of all of these things every time my thoughts tried to slip away to doubt giving fear no room to exist.

Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. Matthew 6:33

I saw how my faith in the process, as well as myself, is the necessary component to manifesting the life of my dreams! More importantly, I am learning faith in and of itself is not easy, but absolutely necessary.

No one who has made a conscious decision to live his or her best life has put an unwavering faith in doubt. They believe in their God-given ability to thrive, be well and prosper in whatever it is God has gifted them to do. True success starts from within, with a healed heart, a pure soul and faith. My journey is my journey and your journey is your journey. God in all His wisdom does not reveal everything to us at once so that we don’t get overwhelmed. He gives us bits and pieces at a time, and allows us to absorb them before He gives us our next steps. God had to restore my life from within first-spirit, mind, heart and soul, so that I would be ready for all the other things I desired to be added. It is my true joy and pleasure to serve in ministry daily thru My Solace Place! Many are called, but few are chosen and I’m so glad God chose me. Answering God’s call to purpose for my life has been the greatest thing I have done!

Once I focused on what was important- healing, thriving in the fullness of who God created me to be before my conception and fulfilling my purpose, I was able to let go of all the fear attached to what “they” would have to say about me, as well as if I even had what it would take to be successful in ministry. Do I have days when I doubt if my life will ever change? Absolutely! and as soon as I notice it is simply fear that is trying to creep in my thoughts, I immediately affirm God’s promises for my life, over my life and I continue to do the work God has purposed for me to do. I see everyday how my faith has truly made me whole and I am looking forward to what’s next for me in my ministry.

It is my sincere prayer that your faith be elevated to an unwavering foundation in the uncreated God, your true self and your divine purpose. I pray every fear consuming the heart of your spirit, mind and soul be dissolved now! I call upon the angels of protection, guidance and inspiration to fill you with all you need as you navigate your life’s journey and take intentional steps toward loving the true you and living your divine purpose. May goodness and mercy follow you all the days of your life. This I pray, Amen.

Does my post speak to you? Let me know in the comments. I would love to hear from you!

Are you ready to heal? Reserve your mentoring sessions to begin your healing journey now!

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