It’s Not Easy Being Me.

It’s not easy being “Me” because “Being” requires the knowledge, awareness and ownership of whom you were masterfully created to be–affectionately known as Me. You CAN simply exist though, BUT without the awareness, knowledge and ownership of the essential components that were formed by the potter (God), and perfectly aligned to create the whole of who YOU are, you lose yourself. Initially, it’s an undetected loss. The vital pieces of your character are quickly filled with replacements that clearly don’t belong to you, but you accept them anyway because they are somehow satisfying insecurities within you that are feeding the counterfeit aspects of your life; such as relationships with selfish people, addictions and false identities taken on to soothe a bleeding wound. Those fillers don’t belong to you, but you don’t realize it until the day you look in the mirror and see the reflection of someone who resembles you, and your spirit quickly confirms what you’ve been thinking and feeling for a long time: “That’s not Me”…

I’ve never been one to care about the opinions of others concerning my life, because I realized at an early age their mere opinions had no bearing on whether or not I succeeded or failed. However, I did notice listening to some of them brought me to an emotional low that was hard to defeat, because their words were filled with the unconscious, and even conscious, intention of killing my spirit and natural positive vibes to thrive. As a result, I learned to accept the support I longed for from the people I was in relationship with-whether it was professional, personal, spiritual or emotional, even if I knew their support was disguised as deceit and manipulation. I began to see firsthand that everyone I was in relationship with was not for me. Some were only “there” for the fringe benefits they were receiving, to build their own ego-driven storehouse, which in turn was totally depleting my divine goods of: abundance, faith, trust, love, joy, respect and self-worth, because I wasn’t being filled in the process.

I spent a lot of time planning my dream life because I wanted it to be perfect…which in reality simply equated to the total opposite of what I experienced growing up. I definitely knew I didn’t want my peace, joy, happiness, love and prosperity to be coached, coerced or conditioned in an environment inhabited by people who clearly had no idea who they were, which was evident by their words, actions and attractions…experience taught me that! I longed for my life to be filled with loving support from people I could trust whole-heartedly, genuine unconditional love, and an environment filled with abundance, peace, prosperity and joy that continually nurtured my spirit; empowering me to live a sustainable, purpose-filled life for the glory of God…that’s all I wanted. I knew those fruit and gifts were already in me, I just didn’t initially realize what I was attracting to every area of my life was a direct result of what I was nurturing them with: lack of the knowledge of whom I was, and settling for undesirable attractions just to have something that remotely resembled what I desired.

I was stuck in the trap of a downward spiral leading to lack with everything that was created to build me up and bring me abundance, because I didn’t know how to nurture the dying parts of my true essence; and I was too abused, broken, beaten, hurt, weak and discouraged to find the strength to do so. I realized I hit rock bottom in my life when I found myself settling for less than I desired and knew I deserved. I would settle in an attempt to live a life opposite of the one I acquired over the years due to the ownership of a misdiagnosis of my true identity.

I was tired of living like that, and knew it was time to make a change for the better. I went within myself to find Me and in doing so, I began to reflect on my life. I owned that I was settling for, and taking on roles in my life that were totally NOT me in the least, because I accepted what “they” said about me, and how “they” treated me in my brokenness. My voice was silenced by the sadness, weakness and lack of control over my own life that I felt daily. Seeing that was my turning point! I knew I needed a lifeline to get me from the bottom of the desert I was in, and to help me demolish the stone walls I had built, and allowed myself to hide behind daily. I was knocking at death’s door and instead of God letting me die, He threw me a lifeline to rescue me from the identity I adopted as a strongly diluted and highly dysfunctional version of Me.

I received my lifeline through the awareness of who God is. God lives within our hearts, and has equipped us with everything we need to live a purpose-filled life through the knowledge of whom we were created to be. 1 Peter 2:9 shares “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of the darkness into His wonderful light.” I began to own that I am:

• The head and not the tail (Deuteronomy 28:13)
• Complete (Colossians 2:10)
• Free (John 8:36)
• Blessed with every spiritual blessing (Ephesians 1:3)
• Chosen (1 Peter 2:9)
• Redeemed (Isaiah 43:1)
• His child (1 Peter 1:23)
• Alive! (Ephesians 2:5)

and I rejected every word that told me otherwise. I began to take note of what the people I was in relationship with called me, said about me and to me to be aware of what their heart was full of concerning me. I read “a good (wo)man brings good things out of the good stored up in (her)his heart, and an evil (wo)man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in (her)his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of ” (Luke 6:45).

Through building my relationship with God to know who Me is, I learned I have the:

• Mind of Christ (1 Corinthians 2:6)
• Spirit of Wisdom (Isaiah 11:2)
• Peace of God that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7)
• Great I am living within me (1 John 4:4)
• Ability to do all things through Christ! (Philippians 4:13)

As I began to affirm who I am and what I have, I took on the identity of Christ-the ultimate unconditional love, and in those moments, I realized I had everything I needed to live a fulfilling life, without false identities and meaningless relationships with people who were not for me. I began to walk in my new awareness, and everything within my spirit, mind, heart, soul, emotions and body changed Me for the better! I made a conscious decision above all else to exist from the place of my divine power simply by being Me.

Being Me meant confronting my fears, hurts and the truth of the relationships that I had grown to accept as my final reality. As I began to live the truth of my new awareness, and own whom God created Me to be unapologetically, my desires changed. I no longer wanted to stay in unfulfilling relationships for fear of what others would think or say about me. I only became concerned with what God thought about me and said that I am. I began to fully understand “life and death are in the power of the tongue and those who love it will eat its fruit” (Proverbs 18:21). I could no longer connect myself with any one or thing that was killing my spirit with verbal bullets, even if they were subliminal in nature. I understood God’s desire for my life is that I live, “Prosper and be in good health” (3 John 1:2). I began to walk in my divine power to be Me!

“The thief (enemy) comes to steal, kill and destroy you BUT God came so that you may have life and have it more abundantly” (John 10:10). When you exist in the lows of life, you become easy prey for the enemy to launch an attack on. He goes for the jugular and attacks your mind seeking to destroy you completely. That’s why it is so important to renew your mind daily and affirm who God created you to be.

When you are living life lacking self-confidence, a healthy self-esteem, and the awareness and knowledge of who you are, you don’t have the courage, strength or power to be YOU. It seems easy to “be” someone else, because you are mimicking the identity of another. However in doing so, you will never be able to live, experience, be or thrive in the fullness of whom God created you to be.

I encourage you to take some time to examine your heart so that you may discover and understand who you are now and why. Ask yourself these questions:

• Do I know who I am?
• Am I nurturing the essence of Me- my only true and authentic self?
• Are all the aspects of my life producing the fruit I desire to have?
• Is what I desire for my life, what I’m attracting to it?

Initially, being “Me” is not easy. It’s a lifelong process of building a relationship with God and owning the fullness of who He created you to be. The process involves making forgiveness a lifestyle, so that God can heal your heart and fill you with more of Him and less of you. As you heal, your heart, mind, spirit, soul and body are filled with the acceptance, knowledge and understanding of who you are and what you have been equipped with to live a life that gives you absolute permission to walk in the fullness and divine power of who God created you to be…all for His glory! As you begin to shed off those counterfeit pieces and false identities, you discover the true essence of God in owning who you are created to be-authentically. Your mind is renewed and your thoughts mirror the mind of God and His desires for your life. Your attractions change, and you begin to experience an abundant flow of God’s promises for your life!

I pray that you develop a relationship with God, in order to thrive from your divine mind, and walk in the fullness and power of whom God created you to be, on purpose. I pray God gives you the awareness, strength and courage to live your truth. I pray that every person, relationship, situation and thing that is not serving your highest good in life be removed permanently and filled with an abundance of unconditional love, joy, peace, genuine support, loyalty, trust and good works from people (and relationships) that genuinely wish you well and are cheering you on to greatness! I pray you know that God is FOR YOU without a shadow of a doubt in your mind. In the name of the father, Son and Holy Spirit I pray, Amen.

Blessings, light, love, peace and joy to you now and forever more!