The Affects of (Un)Forgiveness

I can’t  forgive them…or CAN I??

 Murder. Adultery. Rape. Theft. Betrayal. Lies. Deceit…all describe what most women would consider unforgivable acts towards them due to their devastating, tragic nature. When dealing with hurt that initially seems to destroy your core, you develop feelings of anger, resentment, jealousy, and distrust. Your heart is wounded because the act touched your life in such a way that it seemed to destroy a valuable part of you, and caused you heartache.

So how do you really forgive the person or people who caused you so much heartache, and really mean it from your heart? The only way this can be done is by activating your faith. Faith, in the spiritual sense, is putting all your trust in a higher being, God, allowing Him to step in and do whatever it is you need to be done, but don’t have the power to do; in this case forgive. Matthew 6:14 tells us, “forgive other people when they sin against you, so your heavenly Father will also forgive you.”

What happens if I chose not to forgive? 

 1.    It affects your health

Un-forgiveness is a spirit, and it manifests in the human body as an invader, in the form of disease; cancer being number 1, arthritis, sickness: constant cough, cold/flu-like symptoms, just to name a few others. Along with the spirit of un-forgiveness, comes other mal-spirits: jealousy, hatred, sadness, depression, and anger. These spirits lead to pre-mature aging of the body; changes in skin-tone, pre-mature thinning and graying of the hair, weight gain or loss, significant change in thought pattern due to disintegration of brain cells, causing the mind not to function properly, leading to temporary insanity in some people, short-term memory loss, and even lack of long-term mental growth-ability to grasp new information successfully.

2.    You block your very own Blessings

Forgive because God commands us to! When we go to God in prayer, we must go to Him with a pure heart, and we must exercise our faith. Mark 11:24-26 tells says, “Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them. “And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses.”  Wow! Many of us look at sin as something done punishable by law, or having a baby out of wed-lock, or even smoking and drinking alcoholic beverages, but sin is simply missing the mark. If we are not living each day to our fullest potential, we have sinned, or missed the mark. The great thing about God is his grace and mercy are renewed each and every morning, and He said in His word, as far as the east is from the west, he has removed our sins from us.” (Psalm 103:12) Amazing right?! So all we have to do is repent-ask God to forgive us with sincerity, and He forgives us. Not only that, God loves us so much that He goes a step further and even gives another chance to get it right!

3.    We don’t grow

Matthew 5:44 “But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you,” Many times, we don’t know why God allows the devastating tragedies that touch our lives to happen, until after the fact, and still then, sometimes we still don’t know. What we must keep in mind is that every situation we encounter in life, is presented to us to allow us to grow and help others grow too. If we don’t grow from our experiences, we are presented with the same experiences time and time again.

I was watching an interview on Oprah one day, and she was talking about a situation that occurred with another female that really hurt her, and she purposed in her heart to never forgive her and hold a grudge against her. Well, some months later she saw the female from afar, and those ill feelings resurfaced. Some time later that day, Oprah said she says to herself, “wait a minute, she was laughing, smiling and really enjoying herself with her friends, not thinking about me, while I’m upset about something she did months ago. My grudge and feelings of un-forgiveness towards her are not affecting her…they’re affecting me!!” It was at that moment that Oprah said, I have to forgive her and move from that place of un-forgiveness.

So I challenge you to step out of your box, and forgive…and if someone asks you, “how are you able to forgive them after they (fill in the blank accordingly), just tell them “it’s for my good health!”  😉

I want to pray for those of you who have been hurt, and are struggling with (un)forgiveness. Please pray this prayer as often as you need to and even customize it to your specific situation if you would like.

Father God, I come to you with a humble heart asking you to forgive me of my sins, and for anything I did or said that wasn’t pleasing in your sight. I thank you for your grace and mercy, that they are sufficient for me. I ask you to take away all feelings of un-forgiveness, jealousy, malice, and anger that I have in my heart towards _______________. I ask you to heal me completely and fill me with your joy. I ask you to bless ________ and their family, and allow the love of God to abide in their hearts. Send laborers across their path so that they will repent of their sins and come to know You personally. I believe by faith it’s done now, in Jesus’ name. Amen!

I pray my posts on forgiveness have enlightened you and that you make forgiveness a way of life! Please share my blog with others you know and feel free to contact me if you have any questions, comments or would like prayer. You can fill out the form on my “contact me” page or email me directly, mysolaceplace@live.com.

Love & Peace to YOU!